Last Night, I Dreamed I Was an Actress

Yes, I did. In a horror movie.

I blame this poster that is being displayed outside our office yesterday.

No, I was not the monster in the dream. I was the one haunted by this lady ghost that came out of the book I just read. In the dream, I said that the author of the book is Stephen King (which strengthened my suspicion that the poster was indeed the culprit).

In the dream, I was inside a house, which I have never seen in real life, reading a book in a corner of the living room. The house was small, dusty and made of wood. It was already dark outside when I finished reading the book. When I looked at the window, the lady in the book was staring at me from outside! It scared the living hell out of me I woke up sweating and my heart was pounding in my ears. Luckily, I don’t scream after having a bad dream.


The Science of Procrastination

Wikipedia defines procrastination as the  practice of carrying out less urgent tasks in preference to more urgent ones, or doing more pleasurable things in place of less pleasurable ones, and thus putting off impending tasks to a later time.

I came across a photo published on Mashable enumerating the 12 types of procrastinators (see image below) and told myself, “OMG, I am a queen procrastinator!”. 

Image from Mashable

Yeah, being an CPA by profession, I see myself busy all the time. Evenings and weekends are the only time I have for myself and occasionally, I work even on weekends especially during month-end and year-end closing of books. But when I saw the image featured above, I realized that I also waste some of my precious time for procrastinating.

I am…

1. The Cleaner. OK, not really. I am not really fond of cleaning up the place I am staying at, particularly my office desk. (A thinking bulb! I’ll take a picture of my desk at the office and write something about it.) But when I feel like it, I am the best cleaner in town. I’m gonna wipe every little dirt I can see before I get started with work.

2. The Panicker. Depending on the situation. Yeah, an accountant gets panicky too. Imagine the deadlines I have every week! Around two hundred supplier invoices to review and process for payment every week, checks should be ready for my bosses’ signature on Thursdays, computations of tax payments every 10th, 15th, 20th or 25th of the month, more or less four hundred supplier files to control, bank reconciliations every end of the month, blah, blah, blah… I panic once in a while when aside from all the routine tasks, I get lots of ad hoc tasks to do. I panic before I get started with work that I end up doing all the work the day before the deadline. 😐

3. The List Maker. Yeah, I can waste almost two hours of my time every day making lists (or personal budget schedules).

4. The Napper. I had a lot of naps when I was still attending the CPA review sessions. (Reminiscing the times… 🙂 )

5. The Sidetracker. I admit I also have favorites among my accounting tasks. These favorite tasks are of course in my preferred list and I’m gonna get them done first even if they are due one month from now.

6. The Social Sharer. Looks familiar. 😀

7. The Internet Searcher. I found myself typing “Despicable Me 2 Banana Song lyrics” on Google in the middle of a busy week.

8. The Snacker. I can’t get anything done without a little snack.

9. The Gamer. I have to guess the five words on 4pics 1 word first before doing anything. 🙂

10. The Watcher. I copied the whole season of  White Collar in my cellphone and watch for several minutes after lunch.

11. The Delegator. I don’t do this. But I know someone who does. 😉

12. The Perpetuator. Sounds like 4:30 pm to me. Hahahahahaha!

I’m Sorry

When another girl sent your boyfriend “I miss you”, wouldn’t you be pissed off?

I logged in to Facebook this afternoon using my boyfriend’s account and saw that there was an unopened message. The message was from a girl, his former classmate, telling him that she misses him. Of course, I got mad. I told my boyfriend that I am angry but he also got angry with me.

OK, I know I overreacted. But really, I think I only reacted the way a girlfriend should react.

I hate it when he gets too close to his classmates. I hate to know that he enjoys their company more than mine. I get mad when another girl touches him, texts him about anything that is not school-related.

The problem is I believe I started all these. I broke up with him and he started to go out with his classmates. From then onwards, he got close to them. 

If only I can turn back time.

I messed up. Now, I have to understand that he doesn’t wholly belong to me anymore, that he already has this circle of friends. It’s not anymore like before when I was the only one he tells his problems to, the only one with whom he can be himself. All I can think of now is how unfair this situation is. Because I am still the same me. My world revolves around him and him only. 

I never ceased to love him. God knows that. I never stopped caring. But why do I feel like I’m not his everything anymore?